Wit Quotes - Page 4

You can con God and get away with it, Granny said, if you do so with charm and wit. If you live your life with imagination and verve, God will play along just to see what outrageously entertaining thing you'll do next.

The small amount of foolery wise men have makes a great show.

What have you done to your hair?” Mom’s broken voice said, pinning me back to this tiny hospital
room.
“Holy shit!” Icka patted her head as if searching. “You think the nurse stole it? She looked shady.

Yeah, well, wish in one hand, crap in the other, and see which fills up first

You know, you're rather amusingly wrong.

There are two ways to dislike poetry: One is to dislike it; the other is to read Pope.

True Wit is Nature to advantage dress'd
What oft was thought, but ne'er so well express'd;
Something whose truth convinced at sight we find,
That gives us back the image of our mind.
As shades more sweetly recommend the light,
So modest plainness sets off sprightly wit.

It's common platitude that knowledge is neutral but every now and then it would be useful if it was on your side and not theirs.

There is, I believe, in every disposition a tendency to some particular evil, a natural defect, which not even the best education can overcome."
"And your defect is a propensity to hate everybody."
"And yours," he replied with a smile, "is wilfully to misunderstand them.

You can't teach an old dogma new tricks.

Wit had conquered science by laughing it out of court.

The flesh is sad, alas, and I have read all the books.

Quotation is a serviceable substitute for wit.

Any woman who is sure of her own wits, is a match, at any time, for a man who is not sure of his own temper.

Enough about my beauty," Buttercup said. "Everybody always talks about how beautiful I am. I've got a mind, Westley. Talk about that.

Someone once told me that we move when it becomes less painful than staying where we are".

Being born in a stable does not make one a horse.

I'm living so far beyond my means that we may almost be said to be living apart.

He lies down next to me.
He says, 'You know - you have a face to die for/'
'Well, don't die,' I say, "we just met.

If water was beer I'd be a teetotaler