Wit Quotes

Apart from the economic value, money does have high moral value.

I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that I don't know the answer

I am not absentminded. It is the presence of mind that makes me unaware of everything else.

The covers of this book are too far apart.

Heterosexuality is not normal, it's just common.

I don't deserve any credit for turning the other cheek as my tongue is always in it.

Humor keeps us alive. Humor and food. Don't forget food. You can go a week without laughing.

Ask me no questions, and I'll tell you no fibs.

A successful book is not made of what is in it, but what is left out of it.

If Christ were here there is one thing he would not be - a Christian.

Digression is the soul of wit. Take the philosophic asides away from Dante, Milton or Hamlet's father's ghost and what stays is dry bones.

I have always been a huge admirer of my own work. I'm one of the funniest and most entertaining writers I know.

You cannot negotiate art.

In spite of being complicated people choose superstitions over common sense.

If an apology is followed by an excuse or a reason, it means they are going to commit same mistake again they just apologized for.

Intelligence is more important than strength, that is why earth is ruled by men and not by animals.

When you are angry try your best to go to sleep, it keeps you away from speaking, writing and thinking while you are angry.

I chase goals, not girls.

I decided to do the easy task of changing situations and conditions by being a hero, than staying back to do the difficult task of changing people by being just a man.

You will have relatively less problems to solve, if you don't confuse problems with inconveniences.