Why wait? So precious is this life - this gift - this temporary blindness. Burn and drown and embrace the false dark, then grasp the unthinkable height of resulting joy. For in the end, in the light of truth when the flesh is cast off, there is nothing but this.
Be happy but when sad times come, know that God allow these time for self-realisation.
You need to make effort and commit time to do what you love.