Sarcasm Quotes - Page 6

You want a friend in this city? [Washington, DC.] Get a dog!

The rich and large corporations get richer, the CEOs earn huge compensation packages, and when things get bad, don't worry; Uncle Sam and the American taxpayers are here to bail you out. But when you are in trouble, well, we just can't afford to help you, if you are in the working class or middle class of this country.

...So we passed, handcuffed and in silence, through the streets of Washington, through the Captial of a nation, whose theory of government, we are told, rests on the foundation of man's inalienable right to life, LIBERTY, and the pursuit of happiness! Hail! Columbia, happy land, indeed!

People who say you are ugly, may be true, because to them, you look like a monster. People who say you are beautiful, may also be true, because to them, you look like an angel.

The bastard kissed her. She was so mad, she bit him hard enough to draw blood. Raphael pulled back, lip already beginning to swell. “We are no longer even, Elena. You’re now in debt.”
“You can deduct it from my slow and painful death.

I’m not sitting back here with another dude while there are two perfectly doable females in the car.

In some ways blowjobs are better than sex because when you have a mouthful of cock you can't make snide comments.

You are quite possibly the least smooth guy I know,” she mumbled. “You can’t even put your arm around me without tripping up.

I wish there was some method to transform all the agony in my imprudent heart to an energy source. It would have lit up the world till eternity!!!

Baptists don’t spend their time thinking about reality.

Wouldn't want to miss a war, would I?

Named Harris," Bill said. "Ever know him, Mike? He was in the war, too."

"Fortunate fellow," Mike said. "What times we had. How I wish those dear days were back.

... And I wondered if we had disappointed God so much, that he wrote us off as pets, just alive to entertain.

It doesn't matter if the glass is half empty of half full. Just drink it while everyone is arguing about it and be thankful you had a glass with something in it!

It's weird, marriage. It's like this license that gives a person the legal right to control their spouse / their 'other half.

What tale do you like best to hear?' 'Oh, I have not much choice! They generally run on the same theme - courtship; and promise to end in the same catastrophe - marriage.

The life I've lived
What more can one ask for
Apart from a grand exit
Slit of the wrist
Total bliss

While you were out JUDGING others, you left your closet door open...and guess what fell out!....Ooops

It just takes one serious thought to change a person, either to one he always wanted to be or into one he never wished to be.

The one plentiful herds of magazine writers would continue to be culled - by the Internet, by the recession, by the American public, who would rather watch TV or play video games or electronically inform friends that, like, 'rain sucks!' But there's no app for a bourbon buzz on a warm day in a cool, dark bar. The world will always want a drink.