Sarcasm Quotes - Page 5

If walls could talk - scratch that, if walls could make sarcastic comments... well, things would be interesting.

What are American dry-goods? asked the duchess, raising her large hands in wonder and accentuating the verb.

American novels, answered Lord Henry.

What was up with class today? It was watered-down porn. He practically had you and Patch on top of your lab table, horizontal, minus your clothes, doing the Big Deed.

The platform underneath the balloon fell on her as she was trying to escape," she explained. "She was crushed."
"I'd have been disappointed too.

Here is a man whose life and actions the world has already condemned - yet whose enormous fortune...has already brought him acquittal!

Oh, that's great. That way, when things have quieted down, and we come up for air, or money, or re-supply, we'll get a nice explosive package from him that says "so nice to see you again" in a way that only multi-megaton yields can.

Resilience, thy name is Devine.

I get my share of mud flung my way, but the secret is to dance in the rain and the mud will wash away.

That's one way we differ, Jaime and I. He's taller as well, you may have noticed.

Happy endings. *Groan*

In fact,' said Poirot, 'she stabbed him in the dark, not realising that he was dead already, but somehow deduced that he had a watch in his pyjama pocket, took it out, put back the hands blindly and gave it the requisite dent.

We are literally in the heart of Jesus," he said.
"I thought we were in a church basement, but we are literally in the heart of Jesus."
"Someone should tell Jesus," I said. "I mean, it's gotta be dangerous, storing children with cancer in your heart.

Dr. Cox: Ladies and gentlemen, allow me to present, Man Not Caring.

[points to self]

Truly," remarked Nandi as we entered a darkened tunnel, "it is amazing that you have not died yet, mistress." "Well, hang in there. The night is young.

Short men are happy, for they can pass easily through the door. Tall men are happy, for they can stand erect and pluck oranges with their hands. Again, short men are angry, for they cannot stand erect and pluck oranges with their hands. Again, tall men are angry, for they cannot pass easily through the door.

Im.’ The monosyllable was heavy with contempt. ‘’E’s a twat.’
‘Is he?’
‘Yeah, ’e is. Ask Kieran.’
She gave the impression that she and Kieran stood together, sane, dispassionate observers of the idiots populating Lula’s world.

Push my buttons, and I'll push you off a bridge. 

Son, my dad said, every man needs a bitter, resentful woman in his life. Because there's nothing more touching to a mother's heart than to know that her son thinks of her constantly.

A woman's weapon is her tongue.

There are a few things that even sarcasm can't protect you from.