Naughty Quotes

Love is a banana. First you peel it, and then you roll on the condom.


The only sea I saw Was the seesaw sea With you riding on it. Lie down, lie easy. Let me shipwreck in your thighs.

Just give me a comfortable couch, a dog, a good book, and a woman. Then if you can get the dog to go somewhere and read the book, I might have a little fun.

good girls go to heaven and bad girls go everywhere

If all the girls attending [the Yale prom] were laid end to end, I wouldn't be at all surprised.

I never loved another person the way I loved myself.

I have dirty things on my mind and they all involve Rebecca Radley.

Would you like to sit?" Kellen asked her.
"You'd better do it soon," Owen whispered close to her ear, "or I'm going to bend you over that table and break the club's no-penetration-in-the-lounge rule.

Do you want me to ride you like a rented mule, or do you prefer to be Mr. Missionary Position? I'm fine with wither, so it doesn't matter to me.

You know what, your imagination works faster than your mind.

She was pleased to have him come and never sorry to see him go.

We have reason to believe that man first walked upright to free his hands for masturbation.

I can remember when the air was clean and sex was dirty.

Having sex is like bridge. If you don't have a good partner, you'd better have a good hand.

If just one person has done it, it can be done. by V.L. Marshall

Men are my hobby, if I ever got married I'd have to give it up.

The hurt that troubled children create is never greater than the hurt they feel.