Joke Quotes - Page 4

Pity, I've learned, is like a fart. You can tolerate your own, but you simply can't stand anyone else's.

Time is ticking, and your online twinkling is limited.

No man should marry until he has studied anatomy and dissected at least one woman.

Everyone says "i will never" and "one should never" but, actually, "No one can Resist Miss-using Power (at-least ones) when they have it".

I've just finished reading some of my early papers, and you know, when I'd finished I said to myself, 'Rutherford, my boy, you used to be a damned clever fellow.' (1911)

There is a somewhat time-worn joke about people taking up library work because they like to read : the joke consisting of the fact that librarians have so little time to read. But, I tell you, those who do not, and there are some, are in the wrong profession.

Nature never jests.

The art world is the biggest joke going. It’s a rest home for the overprivileged, the pretentious, and the weak.

Getting some redecorating ideas?’ Nico asked. ‘Maybe you could do your dining room in mediaeval monk skulls.’
Hades arched an eyebrow. ‘I can never tell when you’re joking.

People will say,"there's heaven and hell", and they take it so serious that they look so sorrowful with penitence. I would rather ask them to show me the route that leads to heaven or hell.

I didn't pretend to know Eli at all, but even so, I'd noticed that his manner was slightly hard to read. It was something in the way he talked that made it difficult to tell whether he was kidding or serious or what. This bothered me. Or intrigued me. Or both.

Just don't ask me to deliver any more satyr babies and we'll get along great.

I'm financially ugly.

You are drunk,” Andria breathes.

The prince raises his head high. “I am enlightened.