Joke Quotes

It's hard to enjoy practical jokes when your whole life feels like one.

I was smiling yesterday,I am smiling today and I will smile tomorrow.Simply because life is too short to cry for anything.

Now if only I could spread the love between you two like I can spread this butter.

Make it dark, make it grim, make it tough, but then, for the love of God, tell a joke.

People tend to take things spoken as a joke seriously and things spoken seriously as a joke.

Well, enough of this introspection. It’s depressing, quite frankly.

Thanks. Seriously, you must have better things to do with your life than waste it on the hopeless?'
'I've already learned Parseltongue. What else is there?'
'Elvish.

Honey, no offense, but sometimes I think I could shoot you and watch you kick.

And it's Gryfindor in possession again, as Johnson takes the Quaffle - Flint alongside her - poke him in the eye, Angelina - it was a joke, professor, it was a joke...

In eternity there is no time, only an instant long enough for a joke.

We must respect the other fellow's religion, but only in the sense and to the extent that we respect his theory that his wife is beautiful and his children smart.

Fuck it... That's really the attitude that keeps a family together, it's not "we love each other", it's just "fuck it, man.

In the end, perhaps we should simply imagine a joke; a long joke that's continually retold in an accent too thick and strange to ever be completely understood. Life is that joke my friends. The soul is the punch line.

The joke is generally in the oddest way the truth and yet not the fact.

A philosopher is a blind man in a dark room looking for a black cat that isn't there. A theologian is the man who finds it.

Happiness is a big joke; let us laugh at it loud.

Hey,” he said.
“Hi.” Oh, damn. It was awkward.
“What’re you doing?”
“Shearing a sheep. It’s cold outside, and I need a new hat.”
He paused. “You’re joking, right?”
“Yes, Marshall.” I gnawed on my fingers some more and sunk back in my chair.

Perhaps you are Coyote in disguise and have chosen a spectacularly inappropriate time for a joke.

When in doubt, poke the beehive with a stick to see if anything interesting flies out.
I clapped my hands. 'I had no idea Pit teams had such pretty cheerleaders. Can you do it again, but with more spirit this time?

The signs of excessive indulgence in this destructive pastime are easily detectable. They are these: A disposition to eat, to drink, to smoke, to meet together convivially, to laugh, to joke, and tell indelicate stories - and mainly, a yearning to paint pictures.