Irony Quotes - Page 2

Why should I struggle through hundreds of pages of fabrication to reach half a dozen very little truths?'
'For fun?'
'Fun!' He pounced on the word. 'Words are for truth. For facts. Not fiction.

A DEAD STATESMAN
I could not dig: I dared not rob:
Therefore I lied to please the mob.
Now all my lies are proved untrue
And I must face the men I slew.
What tale shall serve me here among
Mine angry and defrauded young?
from EPITAPHS OF THE WAR 1914-18

Even English Language doesn't provide you with the Synonyms of the word Success.

And yet sometimes we become the person we most dread. Or maybe we dread most the person we know we are to become.

A modern philosopher who has never once suspected himself of being a charlatan must be such a shallow mind that his work is probably not worth reading.

Thank heaven for people who are satisfied with facts that conform to the reality they wish to believe.

What each individual wills is obstructed by everyone else, and what emerges is something that no one willed.

In order to grow, I promise you'll have to let go of some habits. 10 times out of 10, they'll be the habits you're most in love with.

It is sometimes easier to be happy if you don't know everything.

Maybe illusion and artifice - lies, even - are a necessary part of romance.

I decided to masturbate with shampoo instead of conditioner today. Because yolo. Things Jesus never said.

Would you like me to [kill you] now?" asked Snape, his voice heavy with irony. "Or would you like a few moments to compose an epitaph?

I'm not scared of death, I just don't want to seek it out.

So if there is something on the planet that is worth living for, I'd better not miss it, because once you're dead, it's too late for regrets, and if you die by mistake, that is really, really dumb.

Depend upon it, sir, when a man knows he is to be hanged in a fortnight, it concentrates his mind wonderfully.

I paid, got up, walked
to the door, opened
it.

I heard the man
say, "that guy's
nuts."

out on the street I
walked north
feeling
curiously
honored.

In the center lay the exploded carcass of a lonely sperm whale that hadn't lived long enough to be disappointed with its lot.

I'm a survivor, " I said. But I didn't think that claim would carry much weight in an obituary.

God hides the fires of hell within paradise.

LIII.
What is the holiness of conversation?

It is
to master death.