Husband Quotes - Page 4

It´s a little song about abandonment, and it goes something like this....

I should have known then it wasn´t nothing, as he called it. But I was eight months pregnant. No sense closing the barn door now, or so I thought. I swallowed the nothing, straightaway after the usual tears and denial.

I feel angry but not homocidal; this may be unlooked-for progress.

The whole world seems tilted, my inner ear displaced by a hole where my spouse used to be.

What kind of wedding would you like?" he asked, and stole another kiss before she could reply.
"The kind that turns you into my husband." She touched the firm line of his mouth with her fingers. "What kind would you like?"
He smiled ruefully. "A fast one.

I want to own this transition, not to simply swallow the shame of it entire. I will push for every little irony.

This is much easier than when N left. Our son is unable to grasp and simultaneously turn doorknobs yet. If only this trick could be unlearned by men over thirty, many more families would celebrate Christmas together.

The abandonment came, and now this shabby bacchanal.

She wanted to be herself again, to recover all that she had been obliged to give up in half a century of servitude that had doubtless made her happy but which, once her husband was dead, did not leave her even the vestiges of her identity.

It's a terrible thing for a man when his woman gangs up on him wi' a toad

They ought to do away with divorce settlements. Instead, both parties should flip a coin. The winner gets to stay where he or she is and keep everything. The loser goes to Paraguay. That´s it.

Flannel shirts should be outlawed for ex husbands; I realize this now. Flannel shirts are to women what crotchless panties are to men.

The real genesis is forbidden to me, vis-à-vis N´s inability to confess even the mildest transgressions.

Conversely, I though humiliation would be everything, but it´s such a nothing.

Commitment is Circumstances

You are curious and quick, you have a deft mind, and for some unaccountable reason, people tell you things - useful things.

Think of your husband as a house. You are allowed to give him a fresh coat of paint and change out the furniture now and then. But if you're constantly trying to pour a new foundation or replace the roof, you're in serious trouble.

And believe me, darling, there's no man more faithful than a reformed playboy. They make far better husbands than men who haven't had time to sow their wild oats before they marry, so go off the rails at about forty-five because they suddenly realise that they've missed out on life and if they don't hurry up it's going to be too late.

I don’t respect my husband because he is the man and I am the woman, and it’s my “place” to submit to him. I respect Dan because he is a good person, and because he has made me a better person too.

Not every woman is obsessed with shoes. But every woman is more obsessed with shoes than her husband is (although that's not too difficult to accomplish, since your husband has exactly two pairs-black shoes that are ten years old and barely broken in and sneakers that are so dirty they classify as a biohazard).