Humor Quotes - Page 19

She's the sort of woman who lives for others - you can tell the others by their hunted expression.

Humanity takes itself too seriously. It is the world's original sin. If the cave-man had known how to laugh, History would have been different.

In wine there is wisdom, in beer there is Freedom, in water there is bacteria.

I really can't think about kissing when I've got a rebellion to incite.

The covers of this book are too far apart.

Curiouser and curiouser.

Those are my principles, and if you don't like them...well I have others.

As far as I'm concerned, if something is so complicated that you can't explain it in 10 seconds, then it's probably not worth knowing anyway.

Life is worth living as long as there's a laugh in it.

The universe is a big place, perhaps the biggest.

When in danger or in doubt, run in circles, scream and shout.

I don't know much about being a millionaire, but I'll bet I'd be darling at it.

Too bad that all the people who know how to run the country are busy driving taxicabs and cutting hair.

I must have a prodigious amount of mind; it takes me as much as a week, sometimes, to make it up!

Like all of my friends, she's a lousy judge of character.

Yeah? Can you draw a skeleton riding a motorcycle with flames coming out of it? And I want a pirate hat on the skeleton. And a parrot on his shoulder. A skeleton parrot. Or maybe a ninja skeleton parrot? No, that would be overkill. But it'd be cool if the biker skeleton could be shooting some ninja throwing stars. That are on fire.

when you're not looking, somebody'll sneak up and write "Fuck you" right under your nose.

Heterosexuality is not normal, it's just common.

If you cannot get rid of the family skeleton, you may as well make it dance.

I do this real moron thing, and it's called thinking. And apparently I'm not a very good American because I like to form my own opinions.