Humor Quotes - Page 16

It's like learning to ride a unicorn. You never forget.

Do you ever think if people heard our conversations they'd lock us up?"
All the time.

Sometimes you remind me a lot of James. He called it my 'furry little problem' in company. Many people were under the impression that I owned a badly behaved rabbit.

Five exclamation marks, the sure sign of an insane mind.

Technically, I am unarmed. But no one should ever underestimate the harm that fingernails can do. Especially if the target is unprepared.

It seemed weird calling a teenager 'sir' but I'd learned to be careful with immortals. They tended to get offended easily. Then, they blew stuff up.

Puns are the highest form of literature.

To lose one parent may be regarded as a misfortune; to lose both looks like carelessness.

Hey, Rosalie? Do you know how to drown a blonde? Stick a mirror to the bottom of a pool.

Write what you know. That should leave you with a lot of free time.

The older I grow, the more I distrust the familiar doctrine that age brings wisdom.

You live but once; you might as well be amusing.

All you need in this life is ignorance and confidence; then success is sure.

Everywhere I go I'm asked if I think the university stifles writers. My opinion is that they don't stifle enough of them. There's many a best-seller that could have been prevented by a good teacher.

Space is big. You just won't believe how vastly, hugely, mind-bogglingly big it is. I mean, you may think it's a long way down the road to the chemist's, but that's just peanuts to space.

So what? All writers are lunatics!

The world is a stage and the play is badly cast.

French name, English accent, American school. Anna confused.

What do I wear in bed? Why, Chanel No. 5, of course

I think I've discovered the secret of life - you just hang around until you get used to it.