Humor Quotes - Page 13

There is nothing in the world so irresistibly contagious as laughter and good humor.

What would men be without women? Scarce, sir...mighty scarce.

Oh well... I'd just been thinking, if you had died, you'd have been welcome to share my toilet.

If cats looked like frogs we'd realize what nasty, cruel little bastards they are. Style. That's what people remember.

Do your thing and don't care if they like it.

You here to finish me off, Sweetheart?

So be sure when you step, Step with care and great tact. And remember that life's A Great Balancing Act. And will you succeed? Yes! You will, indeed! (98 and ¾ percent guaranteed) Kid, you'll move mountains.

Yeah, Quirrell was a great teacher. There was just that minor drawback of him having Lord Voldemort sticking out of the back of his head!

Finally, from so little sleeping and so much reading, his brain dried up and he went completely out of his mind.

History will be kind to me for I intend to write it.

Some people say, “Never let them see you cry.” I say, if you’re so mad you could just cry, then cry. It terrifies everyone.

Yes, frosting. The final defense of the dying.

Sometimes when I'm talking, my words can't keep up with my thoughts. I wonder why we think faster than we speak. Probably so we can think twice.

Even if you are on the right track, you’ll get run over if you just sit there.

It is a great thing to start life with a small number of really good books which are your very own.

Fighting for peace is like screwing for virginity.

Today was good. Today was fun. Tomorrow is another one.

From the moment I picked up your book until I put it down, I was convulsed with laughter. Some day I intend reading it.

From there to here, from here to there, funny things are everywhere!

Because you can't argue with all the fools in the world. It's easier to let them have their way, then trick them when they're not paying attention.