Humor Quotes - Page 12

I did not attend his funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying I approved of it.

Fantasy is a necessary ingredient in living, it's a way of looking at life through the wrong end of a telescope.

Time flies like an arrow; fruit flies like a banana.

So, please, oh please, we beg, we pray, go throw your TV set away, and in its place you can install, a lovely bookcase on the wall.

I have great faith in fools - self-confidence my friends will call it.

I was gratified to be able to answer promptly, and I did. I said I didn’t know.

I love to see a young girl go out and grab the world by the lapels. Life's a bitch. You've got to go out and kick ass.

I think God, in creating man, somewhat overestimated his ability.

It is said that your life flashes before your eyes just before you die. That is true, it's called Life.

Happiness is having a large, loving, caring, close-knit family in another city.

I’d said it before and meant it: Alive or undead, the love of my life was a badass.

Never let your sense of morals prevent you from doing what is right.

The fact that we live at the bottom of a deep gravity well, on the surface of a gas covered planet going around a nuclear fireball 90 million miles away and think this to be normal is obviously some indication of how skewed our perspective tends to be.

Don't talk to me."
"Why not?"
"Because I want to fix that in my memory for ever. Draco Malfoy, the amazing bouncing ferret...

Tell the truth, or someone will tell it for you.

Only a true best friend can protect you from your immortal enemies.

Stories of imagination tend to upset those without one.

Begin at the beginning," the King said, very gravely, "and go on till you come to the end: then stop.

Think left and think right and think low and think high. Oh, the thinks you can think up if only you try!

Deadlines just aren't real to me until I'm staring one in the face.