Guys Quotes

You picked a lemon, throw it away lemonade is overrated. Freaks should remain at the circus, not in your apartment. You already have one asshole. You don’t need another. Make a space in your life for the glorious things you deserve. Have faith.

I don't think much about guys from the past. I'm glad I knew them, but there's a reason they didn't make it into my future.

For you the guy should be the one who will look like the God among the guys.

Oh, hell, he'd look hot in a chicken suit.

He doesn’t have to love your CD collection. He doesn’t have to love your shoes. But any good, mature guy better make an attempt to love your friends and family - especially when they’re great.

These guys may not talk too much about relationships, but they sure do blush at telling moments, don’t they? Maybe that’s the key to understanding the opposite sex; I could invent a science, call it blushology.

Women who say that they have met the most amazing guy in the world are only saying that because they haven’t lived with them yet.

A beautiful woman can have almost any man she wants. A rich man can have almost any woman he wants.

Ladies and gentlemen, when you paint your lips, eyes, nails, hair, side-beards, or whatever, to look beautiful or handsome, don't forget your up stairs, if you don't go up there to put things in order, then, consider the former attributes null and void.

Ethan gave me an admiring look that wasn't about sex, but about that guy moment when they realize you are not just another pretty face, but maybe, just maybe you can be cute, petite, and one of the guys all at the same time.

Guys are a lot like kitchen floors – lay ‘em right the first time and you can walk all over them for years.

Guys have a mental calendar of days in the week, and below the days are empty boxes. On days when they have sex, the box gets a checked. The check mark means all is good and right in the world. An empty box means...not that.

Leave it to a dude to roll in with your technique, but use a jackhammer instead of jeweler’s screwdrivers.

There are guys who grow up thinking they'll settle down some distant time in the future, and there are guys who are ready for marriage as soon as they meet the right person. The former bore me, mainly because they're pathetic; and the latter, frankly are hard to find.

I hate people in general, but you guys are cool with me.

Y'know when your dog drags its butt across the carpet leaving a stain- It's not as easy as it looks..."


I really think guys only need two pairs of shoes. A nice pair of black shoes and a pair of Chuck Taylors.

In her experience, there were only two kinds of guys: the ones into sports and the ones into video gaming. It seemed guys had to be obsessed with something, whether it was watching a game or playing in it or keeping some weird collection related to it.

He was like her favorite type of candy, she realized, a bit sour at first but all sweetness in the long run. Admittedly . . . that tartness was part of the allure all along.

It seems the guys who are best at sex approach it with the serenity of a Buddhist monk. They are never going to beg for it and when the time is right (and all signs point to yes), then they take charge masterfully and completely.