Funny Quotes - Page 2

Failed relationships can be described as so much wasted make-up.

I felt like an animal, and animals don’t know sin, do they?

Sex without love is a meaningless experience, but as far as meaningless experiences go its pretty damn good.

V-Day…if you need this one day in a year to show everyone else you truly care for “your loved one” I think it’s quite stupid. I hate this commercialism. It’s all artificial, and has nothing to do with real love.

Last night I was seriously considering whether I was a bisexual or not but I don’t think so though I’m not sure if I’d like to be and argh I don’t think there’s anything wrong with that, if you like a person, you like the person, not their genitals.

My head’ll explode if I continue with this escapism.

She held up her calloused, grimy fingers. Leo couldn't help thinking there was nothing hotter than a girl who didn't mind getting her hands dirty. But of course, that was just a general comment. Didn't apply to Calypso. Obviously.

Maybe you could be mine / or maybe we’ll be entwined / aimless in this sexless foreplay.

It's funny. No matter how hard you try, you can't close your heart forever. And the minute you open it up, you never know what's going to come in. But when it does, you just have to go for it! Because if you don't, there's not point in being here.

Going to church doesn’t make you a Christian any more than going to a garage makes you an automobile.

The planet is fine. The people are fucked.

I did not attend his funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying I approved of it.

Do you ever think if people heard our conversations they'd lock us up?"
All the time.

Puns are the highest form of literature.

You should eat a waffle! You can't be sad if you eat a waffle!

You are the shuckiest shuck faced shuck in the world!

She said this in the same way you might say Fields of Punishment or Hades's gym shorts.

Books can also provoke emotions. And emotions sometimes are even more troublesome than ideas. Emotions have led people to do all sorts of things they later regret-like, oh, throwing a book at someone else.

I can't decide whether I'm a good girl wrapped up in a bad girl, or if I'm a bad girl wrapped up in a good girl. And that's how I know I'm a woman!

The human body is the best work of art.