Funny Quotes - Page 19

Wedded she some years, and to a man
Of fifty, and such husbands are in plenty;
And yet, I think, instead of such a ONE
'Twere better to have TWO of five and twenty...

Wer lügt, hat die Wahrheit immerhin gedacht.

I'm so honest, that in order to compliment you, I'd improve you first.

A philosopher is a blind man in a dark room looking for a black cat that isn't there. A theologian is the man who finds it.

A poet or philosopher should have no fault to find with his age if it only permits him to do his work undisturbed in his own corner; nor with his fate if the corner granted him allows of his following his vocation without having to think about other people.

I think I exist, therefore I exist. I think.

To be, or not to be: what a question!

I mean really, how could an artistic individual stay grounded in the nitty-gritty of how many minutes per pound meat has to stay in the oven when trying to fathom the creative philosophy behind the greatest artistic minds of the world?

Good man and bad man with money goes a long ways." ~ Amunhotep El Bey

I tended to hate people that hit me in the head without warning.

It is not really hard to do nothing. Many can. The hard part is doing nothing without feeling guilty about it.

I'm a happy person. If you want to be around me, you can either choose to be happy too, or follow the signs to the nearest exit!

When she absently worried her bottom lip with one of her adorable little fangs, he sighed.
The Enemy of Old fucking sighed.
Dear gods, it’d finally happened to him.
Happiness.
Then his own fangs sharpened.I will kill anyone who tries to take this feeling away from me.

Pure joy is rare. That’s why for every meal I eat a really bloody steak.

I feel a strange sensation brewing inside of me. It tickles my throat and forces my lips into a grin. Before I can stifle it, I giggle. And then I laugh.

The secret to happiness is a good sense of humor with adult content.

When would he learn that women never stayed where you put them?

She was an idiot. An adorable, gorgeous, feisty, funny, sweet, sexy idiot.

If I looked like him,” Tara said. “I’d want to have sex with myself. All the time.

She moved to pinch me again but I blocked her hand. I'm no expert on girls, but when one tries to pinch you four times, I'm pretty sure that's flirting.