Funny Quotes - Page 14

i think that i was a rat in rat wheel in my previous life... can not forget the habit

I think I just blew my own mind.

Philosophers, Poets and Fools have similar Consciousness

Soak blanket in gravy and make a delicious brick wrap. Serve in All Gravy Room at the Mandrake Hotel.

Well, enough of this introspection. It’s depressing, quite frankly.

When I need some striking inspiration about deep depression for my new painting, I just need to go to check my bank account...

Thanks. Seriously, you must have better things to do with your life than waste it on the hopeless?'
'I've already learned Parseltongue. What else is there?'
'Elvish.

There is in every village a torch- the schoolteacher; and an extinguisher: the priest.

Sparkles make the world go round.

Nice costume," he said.
"Ditto. I can tell you put a lot of thought into yours."
Amusement curled his mouth. "If you don't like it, I can take it off.

Unrequited love is the only possible way to give yourself to another without being held in indentured servitude.

His eyebrows pulled in. “You won’t leave me, right? Even when I’m a pain in the ass?”
“I vowed in front of God – and Elvis – that I wouldn’t, didn’t I?

A man wrapped up in himself always suffocates. But his loved ones will forever hold in their hearts the memory of that Christmas.

She should have remembered her past experiences in the relationship wars and not let herself get so excited. Evidently her hormones had overruled her common sense and she had become drunk on ovarian wine, the most potent, sanity- destroying substance in the universe.

Are you a female dog?"
"What?" Massie asked. "Why?"
"Because you are acting like a real bitch!

I am your Prince and you will marry me," Humperdinck said.
Buttercup whispered, "I am your servant and I refuse."
"I am you Prince and you cannot refuse."
"I am your loyal servant and I just did."
"Refusal means death."
"Kill me then.

How can He be perfect? Everything He ever makes...dies.

To answer your question, you want me because I'm made of awesome.

Haven't you ever heard of the saying, "If you want to shoot the general, first shoot the horse!"?' -Lin
If you wanna shoot the general, then you should just SHOOT THE GENERAL!' -Ed

I'm not the smartest fellow in the world, but I can sure pick smart colleagues.