Funny Quotes - Page 13

Home. The word circled comfortably in my mouth like bubble gum, swished around sweetly soft and satisfying. Home. Try saying it aloud to yourself. Home. Isn’t it like taking a bite of something lovely? If only we could eat words.

Loving someone is sticking a pin through a voodoo doll and not hitting any vital organs

If bliss are a type of potato, then ignorance can be french-fried

If it's the thought that counts, then ignorance must use a calculator

When you're out in the wilderness and get back to base camp only to discover sleeping bag turndown service….that's no chocolate on the pillow

Don't you wish we all lived in black light.... for one thing, it would mean an end to toothpaste as we know it

We made love like green is blue. That’s because we were only half into it, though for the record I was the blue and she was the disinterested yellow.


You are travelling in hyper-speed on a big ball into nothingness.
Yet you are still wondering where you are going in life?

Economists and psychologists get confused when they are asked 'out of syllabus' questions by life!

Why are we so addicted to social media?

Because, our limbic system is craving for rewards, pleasure, acceptance and expansion through mind.

Hard-ons don't make you think less. They make you think stupid.

He wears his cockiness like an ironic T-shirt, but it fits him better.

WHAT A CONCUBINE SHOULD NEVER SAY:
In your case, ED is not a man's name.

Men only treat women like princesses when they want to use them like prostitutes.

... a man doesn't like to have his ego popped, especially when he prides himself on his sagacity, and then to be proved wrong by a man who claims he doesn't know anything.

With faces entirely invisible through suits, it was hard to be sure, but my impression was that he was watching me and copying my every move. I felt this proved he was intelligent.

So you thought you could shit and eat at the same time. How disgustingly convenient.

Bringing a pot plant to the office, I believe, is a sign of quite serious commitment.

It was a well-known fact that Lorna was leaving in six months’ time, since Lorna had been leaving in six months’ time for close to twenty-five years.

Nothing says work efficiency like panic mode.