Dating Quotes - Page 7

Homophobia is the ignorant and arrogant assumption that copulation and reproduction is all there is to a relationship.

I used to dream of true love; now I'm open to false, but convincing....

A civilized woman's demands: A man who will (1) make her come … sometimes; but (2) pay the bills … at all times.

Singles, fornicating is an internship for adultery.

Maybe life involves the pairing of unsuitable people, those who wait and those who keep others waiting, and the key to happiness is finding the one person with whom you share the same internal chronometer.

The only thing more difficult than persuading someone else to start having sex with you is persuading yourself to stop.

After discovering him in his threesome, I spent the next two weeks in bed suffering from a severe case of vagina elbow. It's a condition not unlike tennis elbow, but you get it from masturbating.

A Dom never takes away. He only builds.

Huge biceps are an unattractive-uneducated-underpaid man's last attempt to be seen as worthy of dating, or, sleeping with.

Be optimistic. Always put on clean underwear if you're going on a date.

Whilst lovers: to control her man, a woman uses (the man’s access to) her vagina. When ex-lovers: she uses (the man's access to) their kids.

When we see a good-looking woman with a not-so-good-looking man, we assume that the man must have a good bank balance. When we see a good-looking man with a not-so-good-looking woman, we assume that she must be good in bed.

88% of women love making their first love making incident with a man seem like an accident.

Some marry because they are in love. Others marry to have sex ... without the guilt.

Some couples are married because they fell in love. Some are married because the woman fell pregnant.

There was a part of me that was so horny, I wanted to climb on top of Randall on the first date. But there was also a part of me that was so terrified, I wanted to go home, put on my feety pajamas and hibernate for the winter.

I’m only saying what you won’t. He’s a hunk, admit it. A tall, dark, exotic hunk who wants to bed you, and you must be a fucking nun, because it’s been three weeks since you met him and you’re going to have to remove the cobwebs from your vagina with forceps soon, they’re growing into intelligent life form -

In his experience with women, it was difficult to recover once things began to go wrong-once they had unreasonably decided that you were a person with whom they were not under any circumstances ever going to have sex.

I finally understood why so much monkey business happened in the backs of buses. Put us in close proximity, with wheels spinning under us, and nothing to do but wait, we’re going to start thinking of lovely uses for our bodies. I don’t care who you are.

I never know what I’m going to want to curl up in bed with.” I shrug.
“How about a man?” she retorts.