Terry Pratchett Quotes - Page 9

He helped the Librarian up. There was a red glow in the ape's eyes. It had tried to steal his books. This was probably the best proof any wizard could require that the trolleys were brainless.

A book has been taken. A book has been taken? You summoned the Watch," Carrot drew himself up proudly, "because someone's taken a book? You think that's worse than murder?"
The Librarian gave him the kind of look other people would reserve for people who said things like "What's so bad about genocide?

It was also a room full of books and made of books. There was no actual furniture; this is to say, the desk and chairs were shaped out of books. It looked as though many of them were frequently referred to, because they lay open with other books used as bookmarks.

And he read Principles of Accounting all morning, but just to make it interesting, he put lots of dragons in it.

There are some laws that are coded into the very nature of the universe, and one is: There Is Never Enough Shelf Space.

...it is well known that a vital ingredient of success is not knowing that what you're attempting can't be done.

The intelligence of that creature known as a crowd is the square root of the number of people in it.

Over the centuries, mankind has tried many ways of combating the forces of evil... prayer, fasting, good works and so on. Up until Doom, no one seemed to have thought about the double-barrel shotgun. Eat leaden death, demon...

There was this about vampires : they could never look scruffy. Instead, they were... what was the word... deshabille. It meant untidy, but with bags and bags of style.

You're not allowed to call them dinosaurs any more," said Yo-less. "It's speciesist. You have to call them pre-petroleum persons.

Ankh-Morpork had dallied with many forms of government and had ended up with that form of democracy known as One Man, One Vote. The Patrician was the Man; he had the Vote.

Don't look back!"
"Why not?"
"Because I just did! Run faster!

Everywhere's been where it is ever since it was first put there. It's called geography.

If I were you, I'd sue my face for slander.

Were you proposing to shoot these people in cold blood, sergeant?"
"Nossir. Just a warning shot inna head, sir.

We're on a mission from Glod.

Never trust a species that grins all the time. It’s up to something.

You do know you could find yourself charged with being a dominant species while under the influence of impulse-driven consumerism, don't you?

The Captain of the Watch says if you're still in the City by sunrise he will personally have you buried alive.

Letitia! What a name. Halfway between a salad and a sneeze.