Russell Brand Quotes

When it comes to your career, you must always try and allow the positive aspects of your character to dictate what happens to you. Be led by your talent, not by your self-loathing; those other things you just have to manage.

Boggle with sex addicts is up there with go-kart racing with junkies.

Some people were just getting on with their lives, chatting, being young. It simply wouldn't do.

Over the road there was a church: a modern gray building, which constantly played a recording of church bells. Strange it was. Why no proper bells? I never went in but I bet it was a robot church for androids, where the Bible was in binary and their Jesus had laser eyes and metal claws.

This is no time for drinking a mug of water - which you would do nowhere else in the world. A mug of water! You just don't drink water from mugs, do ya? Except on the telly. Water out of a mug! Should be a hot drink... mug of water.

Say I feel all sad and self-indulgent, then get stung by a wasp, my misery feels quite abstract and I long just to be in spiritual pain once more - 'damn you tiny assassin, clad in yellow and black, how I crave my former innocence where melancholy was my only trial'.

And while we're on the subject of ducks, which we plainly are, the story, 'The Ugly Duckling' ought be banned as the central character wasn't a duckling or he wouldn't have grown up into a swan. He was a cygnet.

I regret that I didn’t realize that actually they’ve got no power over you at school - it’s all just a trick to indoctrinate you into being a conditioned, tame, placid citizen. Rebel, children, I urge you, fight the turgid slick of conformity with which they seek to smother your glory.

Murderers! Stop murdering. Everyone will die eventually. Just sit down and be patient.

Invisible violence in Pakistan, violence against brown people, ongoing violence in Iraq - that's got to be quantified in the same way as the cinematic glamorous violence that happens in recognisable cities.

We thought it was nice of you to let him have a go, because, in England, he wouldn't be trusted with a pair of scissors.

I am naïve and I have fucked up but I tell you something else. I believe in change. I don't mind getting my hands dirty because my hands are dirty already. I don't mind giving my life to this because I'm only alive because of the compassion and love of others.

I want to change the world, and do something valuable and beautiful. I want people to remember me before I'm dead, and then more afterwards.

A personality for the incredibly beautiful can be a pointless cargo...

I couldn't possibly have sex with someone with such a slender grasp on grammar!

I don't like doing anything that makes you sweat if you don't come at the end of it.

Rebel children, I urge you, fight the turgid slick of conformity with which they seek to smother your glory.

Have you been out in society recently? 'Cause it's SHIT.

People don't realize that the future is just now, but later.