P.G. Wodehouse Quotes - Page 3

Love is a delicate plant that needs constant tending and nurturing, and this cannot be done by snorting at the adored object like a gas explosion and calling her friends lice.

It went automatically to a heavy-weight mother with beetling eyebrows who looked as if she had just come from doing a spot of knitting at the foot of the guillotine.

Lord Emsworth belonged to the people-like-to-be-left-alone-to-amuse-themselves-when-they-come-to-a-place school of hosts

Captain Bradbury's right eyebrow had now become so closely entangled with his left that there seemed no hope of ever extricating it without the aid of powerful machinery.

The voice of a donkey braying in the neighbouring meadow seemed like the mocking laughter of demons.

She looked like a tomato struggling for self-expression.

His brow was sicklied o'er with the pale cast of thought and his air that of a man who, if he had said ''Hullo, girls'', would have said it like someone in a Russian drama announcing that Grandpapa had hanged himself in the barn.

Look in at the Drones and ask the first fellow you meet ''Can the fine spirit of the Woosters be crushed?'' and he will offer you attractive odds against such a contingency.

-'What do ties matter, Jeeves, at a time like this?'
There is no time, sir, at which ties do not matter

At a time when she was engaged to Stilton Cheesewright, I remember recording in the archives that she was tall and willowy with a terrific profile and luxuriant platinum blond-hair, the sort of girl who might, as far as looks were concerned, have been the star unit of the harem of one of the better-class sultans.

There is no pathos more bitter than that of parting from someone we have never met.

And she's got brains enough for two, which is the exact quantity the girl who marries you will need.

Like so many substantial citizens of America, he had married young and kept on marrying, springing from blonde to blonde like the chamois of the Alps leaping from crag to crag.

When you have been just told that the girl you love is definitely betrothed to another, you begin to understand how Anarchists must feel when the bomb goes off too soon.

Didn't Frankenstein get married?"
"Did he?" said Eggy. "I don't know. I never met him. Harrow man, I expect.

You see, the catch about portrait painting -
I've looked into the thing a bit - is that you can't start
painting portraits till people come along and ask you to, and
they won't come and ask you to until you've painted a lot first.
This makes it kind of difficult for a chappie.

There is no surer foundation for a beautiful friendship than a mutual taste in literature.

Well, you know, there are limits to the sacred claims of friendship.

Suiffy, have you ever felt a sort of strange emptiness in the heart? A sort of aching void of the soul?'

'Oh, rather!'

'What do you do about it?'

'I generally take a couple of cocktails.

The ideas of debtor and creditor as to what constitutes a good time never coincide.