P.G. Wodehouse Quotes - Page 2

Mike nodded. A sombre nod. The nod Napoleon might have given if somebody had met him in 1812 and said, "So, you're back from Moscow, eh?

I am not always good and noble. I am the hero of this story, but I have my off moments.

The fascination of shooting as a sport depends almost wholly on whether you are at the right or wrong end of the gun.

You would not enjoy Nietzsche, sir. He is fundamentally unsound.

Freddie experienced the sort of abysmal soul-sadness which afflicts one of Tolstoy's Russian peasants when, after putting in a heavy day's work strangling his father, beating his wife, and dropping the baby into the city's reservoir, he turns to the cupboards, only to find the vodka bottle empty.

There is only one cure for grey hair. It was invented by a Frenchman. It is called the guillotine.

In a series of events, all of which had been a bit thick, this, in his opinion, achieved the maximum of thickness.

What's the use of a great city having temptations if fellows don't yield to them?

It was one of those cases where you approve the broad, general principle of an idea but can't help being in a bit of a twitter at the prospect of putting it into practical effect. I explained this to Jeeves, and he said much the same thing had bothered Hamlet.

As for Gussie Finknottle, many an experienced undertaker would have been deceived by his appearance and started embalming on sight.

Whenever I get that sad, depressed feeling, I go out and kill a policeman.

A man's subconscious self is not the ideal companion. It lurks for the greater part of his life in some dark den of its own, hidden away, and emerges only to taunt and deride and increase the misery of a miserable hour.

He had the look of one who had drunk the cup of life and found a dead beetle at the bottom.

This was not Aunt Dahlia, my good and kindly aunt, but my Aunt Agatha, the one who chews broken bottles and kills rats with her teeth.

He's such a dear, Mr. Garnet. A beautiful, pure, bred Persian. He has taken prizes."
"He's always taking something - generally food.

She was, in short, melted by his distress, as so often happens with the female sex. Poets have frequently commented on this. You are probably familiar with the one who said, "Oh, woman in our hours of ease tum tumty tiddly something please, when something something something brow, a something something something thou.

When a girl uses six derogatory adjectives in her attempt to paint the portrait of the loved one, it means something. One may indicate a merely temporary tiff. Six is big stuff.

As a rule, from what I've observed, the American captain of industry doesn't do anything out of business hours. When he has put the cat out and locked up the office for the night, he just relapses into a state of coma from which he emerges only to start being a captain of industry again.

This is peculiarly an age in which each of us may, if he do but search diligently, find the literature suited to his mental powers.

I mean, if you're asking a fellow to come out of a room so that you can dismember him with a carving knife, it's absurd to tack a 'sir' on to every sentence. The two things don't go together.