Anything that smiles often needs to be reminded that the world is a cruel, dark place.
Crunches are an exercise where you lie on your back and angrily try to head-butt your crotch.
Running a race assigns a point to a sport that often feels very pointless. It's an exuberant payoff to months of tedium. It's a way of crafting an end boss for a particularly cumbersome video game. It's a fun, monstrous reason to keep putting one foot in front of the other. So, do yourself a favor: go build a monster.
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