First, I'm not getting married, so you can forget the wife. Second, if I was insane enough to get married, I wouldn't have kids. Third, if I was insane enough to get married and have kids, it would be a cold day in hell I'd let you babysit.
Love, Marriage, Humor
Mitch's take on humanity had deteriorated to the point where he assumed someone was lying if her lips were moving.
Lies, Humanity, Lying
It's not a problem. There are people out there with much worse problems than mine."-Cynthia"Doesn't make yours any more fun to bear."-Liza"No. But it does help with the self-pity."- Cynthia
Best Friends, Self Help, Perspective
As far as I'm concerned the last good man went when Elvis died.
Men