Jasper Fforde Quotes

Whereas story is processed in the mind in a straightforward manner, poetry bypasses rational thought and goes straight to the limbic system and lights it up like a brushfire. It's the crack cocaine of the literary world.

If the real world were a book, it would never find a publisher. Overlong, detailed to the point of distraction-and ultimately, without a major resolution.

I didn't set out to discover a truth. I was actually sent to the Outer Fringes to conduct a chair census and learn some humility. But the truth inevitably found me, as important truths often do, like a lost thought in need of a mind.

Bowden Cable is the sort of honest and dependable operative that is the backbone of SpecOps. They never win commendations or medals
and the public has no knowledge of them at all. They are all worth ten of people like me.

Another one of your quippy japes?

…although her mouth uttered fond words, her eyes spoke only venom.

The sky was like ebony and the only illumination was the harsh white light of the central streetlamp, which cast shadows so hard it seemed you might cut yourself on them.

For myself, I favored the abstract. I collected not just obsolete terms and words, but ideas.

She had large, questioning eyes that seemed to draw me in and a sense of quiet outrage that simmered just beneath the surface. More than anything, within her features, there was a streak of wild quirkiness that made her dazzlingly attractive.

Two minds with but a single thought, two hearts that beat as one.

Don't ever call me mad, Mycroft. I'm not mad. I'm just ... well, differently moraled, that's all.

If it weren't for greed, intolerance, hate, passion and murder, you would have no works of art, no great buildings, no medical science, no Mozart, no Van Gough, no Muppets and no Louis Armstrong.

Dead. Never been that before. Not even once.

Her majesty is one verb short of a sentence.

I would so hate to be a first-person character! Always on your guard, always having people read your thoughts!

Mr. McGregor's a nasty piece of work, isn't he? Quite the Darth Vader of children's literature.

Death doesn't care about personalities - he's more interested in meeting quotas.

Literary detection and firearms don't really go hand in hand; pen mighter than the sword and so forth.

I shouldn't believe anything I say, if I were you-and that includes what I just told you.

For every expert there is an equal and opposite expert.