Howard Tayler Quotes - Page 2

Kevyn, Ennesby tells me you are building a time machine.

Actually I'm finished.

In one afternoon? Wow... Does it work?

After a fashion.

...

I put a whole lot of energy into it, and the next thing I knew it was time for dinner.
-Captain Tagon & Commander Andreyasn

When the enemy of my enemy is willing to use plasma weapons inside a hotel, I think I can do better than stupid aphorisms, General.
-Captain Kevyn Andreyasn

Ennesby, get the Serial Peacemaker to the beach for dustoff."

"Dustoff? You're going to run away from three guys?"

"No, I'm going to kill or capture those three guys, and then run away from the Police.

That's odd. It looks almost as if Nick is picking a fight with that elephant."

"Well, the elephant started it."

"That's irrelevant. Fighting with civilians is against the rules. Go break it up."

-Admiral Breya Andreyasn & Sergeant Schlock

Yes, but none of them can steal my ship.

None of them are smart enough to know that it was the right thing to do at the time.
-Captain Tagon & Ennesby

So you're a fellow mercenary, then.

Does this mean you'll afford me some professional courtesy?

Don't ask for that. All it means is that you might get to face the person who kills you. . . But only if it's convenient.
-Elf, Glamour Assault Host, & Doctor Bunnigus

No! Wait! I've got a better idea..."

"Your ideas tend to result in unnecessary violence, Sergeant Schlock."

"And your point is..."

"Let's broaden the definition of 'necessary'."


-Sergeant Schlock & Captain Tagon

I'll leave you two alone. Morality might be contagious.
-Captain Tagon

You're more mean-spirited than I remember you being.

It's this organic body. Hologram fur wasn't itchy.
-Admiral Breya Andreyasn & Petey

Does that mean that if we shave all the Ob'enn they'll be nice?
-Sergeant Schlock

Two minutes worth of signal analysis told me all I needed to know. This station "talks" to the dark matter universe about what goes on inside.

How did you cobble together a jammer so quickly?

I had one on me.
-Commander Andreyasn & Ennesby

How many words are you having trouble with, sir?

Just the ones that I've highlighted.

I count at least a dozen, and I haven't gotten out of the first paragraph.

That's as far as I got, too. I'm not sure you and I speak the same language.
-Lieutenant Massey Reynstein & Captain Tagon

Do me a favor, doc?"

"Anything, Captain."

"Stop italicizing the word 'Captain' when you say it."

"Go easy on the fourth wall there, sir."
-Captain Andreyasn & Doctor Bunnigus

We'll cross that bridge when we come to it.

Cross it? I'm making plans to destroy the bridge from orbit.
-Colonel Ceeta & Captain Tagon

AAAAIIIE!

You're the guy with the things, and the thing that does that thing, and then you did that one thing!

Oh, and I think there's something about other things, and maybe you fix things?
-Sergeant Schlock

Ow. Stop that. It hurts my brain.

Isn't your brain distributed through your entire body?

See why I want you to stop with the doublethink?
-Sergeant Schlock & Captain Tagon

Welcome to your new bodies, gentlemen. If you'd like, I can help you start your owm 'dysmorphia is all in your head' support group.
-Doctor Bunnigus

Being a mercenary, though... Hey, we just go wherever there's a mixture of money and trouble, and everyone in the galaxy is a potential customer.

Even the people you're paid to shoot at?

Well, yeah. There are customers we serve, and customers we service.
-Captain Kevyn Andreyasn & General Tagon

This document outlines our plan to perpetrate insurance fraud, insider trading, and character assassination.
...hopefully tripling our paycheck on this job.

Okay, see? Those words I understand just fine. Use them more often.
-Lieutenant Massey Reynstein & Captain Tagon