Dylan Moran Quotes

People will kill you. Over time. They will shave out every last morsel of fun in you with little, harmless sounding phrases that people uses every day, like: 'Be realistic!'"

[What It Is (2009)]

I don't do drugs. If I want a rush I just stand up when I'm not expecting it.

Don't do it! Stay away from your potential. You'll mess it up, it's potential, leave it. Anyway, it's like your bank balance - you always have a lot less than you think.

Its not easy being a man you know. I had to get dressed today… and there are other pressures.

And I'm not saying it's a bad song, you know, or anything like that. All I'm saying is that if you get, I don't know, a broom, say, and dip it in some brake fluid, put the other end up my arse, stick me on a trampoline in a moving lift, and I would write a better song on the walls. That's all I'm saying.

A man does not know how he came by the half a pie he is holding in his hand!