Oddly, I found myself calmer than I'd been in a long while. Maybe it was simply because my muscles ached or maybe because I felt that nothing was more compelling than the stack of wood that was waiting in Camelli's garage.
Work
The library made me feel safe, as if every question had an answer and there was nothing to be afraid of, as long as I could sort through another volume.
Books, Fear, Answers
I had turned myself inside out working on the house, and had come to love it; at least, I supposed I loved it. Maybe it wasn't love so much as a fear of losing everything I'd accomplished. I was afraid to let go.
Fear
Maybe is wasn't love so much as a fear of losing everything I'd accomplished. I was afraid to let go.
Loss, Fear, Let Go
Fear and logic belong together.
Logic, Fear
I wanted to say a lot but wasn't sure where to start; people don't want to hear about how your heart has melted into the dirt under your house.
Home, Heart, House
I didn't do anything but sit quietly and pay attention to the fact that my hollow chest was still beating. I was still alive and could see that the new normal wasn't so bad.
Life, Heart
I think I'm more curious than I used to be - curious about why people live like they do and how they make sense of their time... Do they see how the sun has made it like a champion around the world overnight, and that all day today we get another chance to be brave, to exercise our humanity with boldness and deft precision?
Humanity, Curiosity
Change what you can, darlin'. That's my best advice.
Change, Advice
It was true; books had saved me in my home remodeling projects, but they fell short in teaching me how to trust my instincts, and how to stop thinking with my educated brain and more with my kneecaps and butt cheeks.
Books, Learning
Over time, I discovered that learning new things doesn't always liberate you. Instead it makes you wonder if your pants are on backward or if the trees are holding the sky up - it makes you question all of your assumptions and conventions.
Learning