Craig Ferguson Quotes

She still cared for me, and the best way I could make amends to her was to be happy.

I do have a knack for finding great women.

Every day I ran to that book like it was a bottle of whiskey and crawled inside because it was a world that I had at least some control over, and slowly, in time, it began to take shape.

After all this time I found that the novel is in fact punk rock.

I found out it is just as hard to make a movie that you are not proud of as it is to make one you love.

I think when you become a parent you go from being a star in the movie of your own life to the supporting player in the movie of someone else's.

I don’t think there’s anything wrong with telling the truth. I know it isn’t fashionable.

People talk to old people like they're children.'Oh you're very old aren't you?' Yeah I'm old. I'm not stupid.

I knew that I had been partially right in the storeroom above the bar on Christmas Day.

Whoever I had become had to die.

Ros was dead.

He had loved heroin more than it loved him. I was shocked beyond imagining; he was the first of my friends to fall.

I've got mixed feelings about poetry cause done well poetry is fantastic. But not many people are capable of doing it well. I think you should have some kind of license to perform poetry. A poetic license perhaps.

Twas the night before Thanksgiving.
All the food's in the oven.
And I'm in the bedroom performin' self lovin'.

You can never talk religion on network TV. It makes too many people angry. You can talk about sex.

He will know from and early age that failure is not disgrace. It's just a pitch that you missed, and you'd better get ready for the next one. The next one might be the shot heard round the world. My son and I are Americans, we prepare for glory by failing until we don't.

Oh Satan you're a wily one.

With good parody, you have to be smarter that the people you’re parodying.

It may be that the fear contains information. Something can be interesting if you get to the other side of that fear.

Divorce lawyers stoke anger and fear in their clients, knowing that as long as the conflicts remain unresolved the revenue stream will keep flowing.

The world can be such a fright, but it belongs to us tonight.

I have a deep and profound mistrust of all politicians.

The Afghan government is as corrupt as a prostitute with a law degree.