Bill Watterson Quotes - Page 3

If you can't control your peanut butter, you can't expect to control your life.

CALVIN:
When I grow up I want to be an inventor. First I will invent a time machine. Then I'll come back to yesterday and take myself to tomorrow and skip this dumb assignment.

CALVIN:
As usual goodness hardly puts up a fight.

In the short term, it would make me happy to go play outside. In the long term, it would make me happier to do well at school and become successful. But in the VERY long term, I know which will make better memories.

HOBBES:
Virtue needs some cheaper thrills.

HOBBES:
If you don't get a goodnight kiss you get Kafka dreams.

Weekends don't count unless you spend them doing something completely pointless.

I liked things better when I didn't understand them.

From now on I’ll connect the dots my own way.

Calvin:"It says here that 'religion is the opiate of the masses.'...what do you suppose that means?"
Television: "...it means that Karl Marx hadn't seen anything yet

That's the difference between me and the rest of the world! Happiness isn't good enough for me! I demand euphoria!

Happiness isn't good enough for me! I demand euphoria!

You know, sometimes kids get bad grades in school because the class moves too slow for them. Einstein got D's in school. Well guess what, I get F's!!!

I go to school, but I never learn what I want to know.

You can present the material, but you can't make me care.

That's the whole problem with science. You've got a bunch of empiricists trying to describe things of unimaginable wonder.

Rainy days should be spent at home with a cup of tea and a good book.

On gray days, when it's snowing or raining, I think you should be able to call up a judge and take an oath that you'll just read a good book all day, and he'd allow you to stay home.

There's never enough time to do all the nothing you want.

Look! A trickle of water running through some dirt! I'd say our afternoon just got booked solid!