Bill Watterson Quotes - Page 2

The world isn't fair, Calvin."
"I know Dad, but why isn't it ever unfair in my favor?

Now what state do you live in?'
'Denial.

From now on, I'm not doing anything I don't want to do! The world owes me happiness, fulfillment and success.... I'm just here to cash in.

Calvin: Why are you crying mom?
Mom: I'm cutting up an onion.
Calvin: It must be hard to cook if you anthrpomorphisize your vegetables.

If you can't win by reason, go for volume.

Did you ever wonder if the person in the puddle is real, and you're just a reflection of him?

I wonder if you can refuse to inherit the world.

Years from now, when I'm successful and happy, ...and he's in prison... I hope I'm not too mature to gloat.

The secret to enjoying your job is to have a hobby that's even worse

I've got to start listening to those quiet, nagging doubts.

Yakka foob mog. Grug pubbawup zink wattoom gazork. Chumble spuzz. I love loopholes.

Talking with you is sort of the conversational equivalent of an out of body experience.

I'm not a vegetarian! I'm a dessertarian!

I'm a 21st-century kid trapped in a 19th-century family.

Specifically, I’d like to debate whether cannibalism ought to be grounds for leniency in murders, since it’s less wasteful.

I like maxims that don't encourage behavior modification.
-Calvin

Happiness is being famous for your financial ability to indulge in every kind of excess.

Hey Susie Derkins, is that your face, or is a 'possum stuck in your collar?

But Calvin is no kind and loving god! He's one of the old gods! He demands sacrifice!

Hobbes: Do you think there's a God?
Calvin: Well, somebody's out to get me!