Bill Watterson Quotes

In my opinion, we don't devote nearly enough scientific research to finding a cure for jerks.

Reality continues to ruin my life.

Sometimes when I'm talking, my words can't keep up with my thoughts. I wonder why we think faster than we speak. Probably so we can think twice.

I'm killing time while I wait for life to shower me with meaning and happiness.

As far as I'm concerned, if something is so complicated that you can't explain it in 10 seconds, then it's probably not worth knowing anyway.

Who was the guy who first looked at a cow and said 'I think I’ll drink whatever comes out of these when I squeeze ’em?

We're so busy watching out for what's just ahead of us that we don't take time to enjoy where we are.

When life gives you lemons, chunk it right back.

I think hiccup cures were really invented for the amusement of the patient's friends.

I find my life is a lot easier the lower I keep my expectations.

To invent your own life's meaning is not easy, but it's still allowed, and I think you'll be happier for the trouble.

Isn't it sad how some people's grip on their lives is so precarious that they'll embrace any preposterous delusion rather than face an occasional bleak truth?

The purpose of writing is to inflate weak ideas, obscure poor reasoning and inhibit clarity.

In a culture that relentlessly promotes avarice and excess as the good life, a person happy doing his own work is usually considered an eccentric, if not a subversive.

If you do the job badly enough, sometimes you don't get asked to do it again.

That's one of the remarkable things about life. It's never so bad that it can't get worse.

I hate to think that all my current experiences will someday become stories with no point.

You can drag my body to school but my spirit refuses to go.

I'm not dumb. I just have a command of thoroughly useless information.

Hello Dad! It is now three in the morning. Do you know where I am?