Bill Maher Quotes

Can we go back to using Facebook for what it was originally for - looking up exes to see how fat they got?

I have a problem with people who take the Constitution loosely and the Bible literally.

I think religion is a neurological disorder.

The Bible looks like it started out as a game of mad libs.

Saying someone is religious is heard in most of America as a compliment, a reassuring affirmation that someone will be moral, ethical, and after a few glasses of wine, a freak in the bedroom.

New Rule: There's only one thing to say about the Christian Film and Television Commission giving me the Bigoted Bile Award and naming Religulous the number-one Most Unbearable Movie of 2008: Thank you! You hate me, you really hate me!

Women cannot complain about men anymore until they start getting better taste in them.

The problem is that the people with the most ridiculous ideas are always the people who are most certain of them."

(The Decider, July 21, 2007)

You know what happens when windmills collapse into the sea? A splash.

[F]reedom isn't free. It shouldn't be a bragging point that "Oh, I don't get involved in politics," as if that makes you somehow cleaner. No, that makes you derelict of duty in a republic. Liars and panderers in government would have a much harder time of it if so many people didn't insist on their right to remain ignorant and blindly agreeable.

Don't get so tolerant that you tolerate intolerance.

We need more people speaking out. This country is not overrun with rebels & free thinkers. It's overrun with sheep & conformists.

The true axis of evil in America is the brilliance of our marketing combined with the stupidity of our people.

Be out of the mainstream. I'm out of the mainstream. I enjoy it, who wants to be in the mainstream?

I find that the world is changing much, much faster than I can even bitch about it.

Last week, I suggested the candidates take up mushrooms. I’ll be damned if Rick Perry didn’t take me up on that.

Kadafi is a zombie in a pillbox hat, that's what he is!

Americans today confuse freedom with not being asked to sacrifice. The fact that you can't have everything you want exactly when you want it has somehow become un-American.

Fascism is when corporations become the government.

But what is it that drives haters crazy with rage? Many times, it's being ignored. To a person with pride, being ignored is often worse than out-and-out hate; it's that much more of an insult, that you're not even worth noticing.